


just keep breathing.

by duaa



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2 [20]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Asthma attack, Brothers, Divorce, Gen, Hyperventilating, Janus Centric Angst, implications of abuse, unhappy relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24556114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: Janus was coughing.That was not a good thing.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748965
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	just keep breathing.

Janus was coughing. And that was not a good thing. He sat up, covers falling off of his arms as he coughed again, hand clutching his chest. Oh god no, please no, he kept on coughing, chest tightening slowly. He felt heavy, trying to suck in shuddering breaths that were just out of his escape, heaving. He coughed again, loud and dry, a thrumming staccato. Janus pushed the duvet off of him, trying to remember where his rescue inhaler was amidst the fiery panic that was coursing through him. He started wheezing, and that made everything worse, ah shit oh fuck fuck fuck, he lunged towards his bed stand drawer, rifling through its contents. He was hyperventilating now, oh god no he couldn't breath oh no no no no he _couldn't fucking breath_! 

The door burst open, thundering footsteps making a beeline straight to him. Oh thank fuck, it was his brother, throwing open his drawers and tossing things on the floor. His inhaler was thrust into his hands and he could've cried in relief. He coughed again, chest loosening as he tried to calm himself down.

"You got this, D, you got this. You're okay." He focused on Logan's voice, the cool tone soothing Janus.

He registered the scent of perfume after a few minutes, hiding his face in his brother's shoulder. Logan got up and cracked open the windows, back to Janus in a flash. Janus wiped his sweaty face with a tissue, anger rearing its ugly head. Logan pulled him close, saying nothing. 

"I..." He winced. His throat hurt. 

"You hate that bitch." Logan completed for him and he nodded, shoulders slumping. What part of having a step-son with asthma did she not understand? Why was the perfume near his room anyway? "Her bottle broke, near the bathroom. She didn't close the door." Janus wanted to cry, sob so hard that his chest rattled and his medication didn't work and he died. 

He heaved a sigh and Logan gently pushed him down on the bed, rearranging his pillows. "I'll close the windows now." Janus nodded gratefully, pointing at his air purifier. Logan sat back on his bed and Janus gestured for him to lie down, not wanting to be alone. Logan acquiesced, cheeks slightly pink. Janus missed his mom. She was so nice and caring - but most of all, he missed his dad. 

He missed _his_ dad, the man who made sixty puns in less than a second, the man who watched cartoons every night. He missed the man who comforted him after his asthma attacks and kissed him goodnight every night. He missed the man who gave everyone a chance, who did everything to keep his family. 

His father now was not that man. His father was a shell of man, a one dimensional portrait of his usual self, washed out and milky. His father is subdued and lets everyone walk all over him, stomping on his heart. He's apathetical, he's blank and Janus hates it. He hates that his father is a floor below him, and still so far away. 

He feels even worse for Logan. He can't even imagine what it must've been like to live with that woman for years. Her strict rules and backward ideas made Janus want to throw up, just by thinking of it. In a way, he's glad that his father is married to that monster. At least Logan is here, and sure, he'll be an adult soon, but it still matters to Janus.

"I think..." Logan yawns. "I think its time for bed." Janus nods, and Logan kneels by his bed, pulling out the trundle mattress. Janus turns the lights off, breathing in the slightly clinical smelling air and sighing.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if you see a typo!  
> hope you like it ❤️💕


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